1. Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy ride.
2. Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
3. When loved ones come home, always run and greet them.
4. When it’s in your best interest, practice obedience.
5. Let others know when they have invaded your territory.
7. Run, romp, and play daily.
8. Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.
9. Be loyal.
10. Never pretend to be something you’re not.
11. If what you want is buried, dig until you find it.
12. Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
13. Thrive on attention.
14. Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
15. On hot days, drink lots of water and sit under a shady tree.
16. When you’re happy, dance around and wag your whole body.
17. When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle him or her gently.
18. No matter how often you are scolded, don’t buy the guilt thing and pout – run right back and make friends.
How much is this planet in the state that we’re in because our social conditioning does not encourage the skill of making our own choices and accepting the consequences of those choices? Do we try to control others, rather than support? How much do we as individuals take responsibility? Or do we play the very common blaming game?
Here is my favourite definition of Personal Responsibility –
Nothing and no-one is put on this earth to make my life work out.
While things might sometimes overwhelm me, I take full responsibility for giving myself the best life I can,
regardless of the past, or what may happen in the future.
Furthermore, I have the ability to make choices about how I respond to situations even if I can’t change the situations themselves.
I refuse to see myself as a victim, even though I may at times be victimised.
I am totally responsible for my life.
I am not responsible for other people’s lives.
The diagram below on the left is a general reflection of past social conditioning. The right diagram is where we are moving toward. See the ‘benefit’ in living on the left! And the benefit of living on the right. It’s our choice.
In this day and age, we are evolving towards a self controlled, rather than an other controlled, society. Our young are going to need this sense of responsibility if we are to become solution focussed rather than competitive and blaming.
“If you take responsibility for yourself you will develop a hunger to accomplish your dreams.”
QUOTE: The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours – it is an amazing journey – and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins. ~Bob Moawad
Peace, love and blessings, Lexia
There is no single key to happiness, but according to psychologist Professor Ed Diener, the following ingredients are vital:
1. Family and friends are crucial, the wider and deeper your interpersonal relationships the better. It’s even suggested that friendship can ward off germs, by having a ‘protective’ effect on us, in the same way that stress can trigger poor health. This is because our brains control many of the mechanisms in our bodies which are responsible for disease. ‘Happiness’ research reveals that, on average, friendship has a much larger impact on happiness than a typical person’s income itself. Economist Professor Oswald has applied a formula to estimate that we would need an extra 50,000 pounds to compensate for not having friends. Marriage can also influence our happiness, adding an average 7 years to a man’s life, and 4 years to a woman’s life; it would be interesting also to know the statistics on a greater variety of intimate relationships, such as defacto, same-sex, etc.
2. Having meaning in life; a belief in something bigger than yourself, be it religion, spirituality or a philosophy of life.
Psychologists argue we need to have goals that interest us to work towards, and which draw on our strengths and abilities, to lead fulfilling lives.
Contentment: the undervalued component of happiness
An opinion poll for the BBC series revealed that 56% of the respondents equated happiness with contentment. ‘Contentment’ can mean: accepting things as they are; mental or emotional satisfaction; a peace of mind. Does this mean not worrying or arguing? Having all you want or actually not wanting? A clear conscience? It’s a mixture of all these things, and it suggests ‘not fighting yourself’. When it comes down to it, what we want depends on us, rather than the situation; therefore by changing our perspective we can affect our level of contentment as much, if not more, as we could do by changing the situation itself.
Some quotes on happiness taken from the opinion poll.
“For me, happiness is about personal tranquillity”, “Being at peace with the way things are going”, “Happiness is when you are ok inside about where you are and who you are”, “Taking the dog for a walk”. “There is no key to happiness. The door is always open for us to choose.”
A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future. Lewis Smedes
Let each person in relationship worry about Self – what Self is being, doing and having; what Self is wanting, asking, giving; what Self is seeking, creating experiencing, and all relationships would magnificently serve their purpose…..and their participants! Let each person in relationship worry not about the other, but only, only, only about Self.
This seems a strange teaching, for you have been told that in the highest form of relationship, one worries only about the other. Yet I tell you this: your focus upon the other-your obsession with the other-is what causes relationships to fail.
It doesn’t matter what the other is being, doing, having, saying, wanting, demanding. It doesn’t matter what the other is thinking, expecting, planning. It only matters what you are being in relationship to that. The most loving person is the person who is Self-centred.
If you cannot love your self, you cannot love another. Many people make the mistake of seeking love of self through love for another. They think: “If I can just love others, they will love me. Then I will be lovable, and I can love me.”
Thus, two people literally lose themselves in a relationship. They get into the relationship hoping to find themselves, and they lose themselves instead. This losing of the self in a relationship is what causes most of the bitterness in such couplings.
It is only when they can accept responsibility for all of it that they can achieve the power to change part of it. It is much easier to change what you are doing than to change what another is doing.
If you had to accept-or even felt a deep inner sense of-personal responsibility for work, it would be a far different place. This would certainly be true if everyone felt responsible. That this is so patently obvious is what makes it so utterly painful, and so poignantly ironic.
Source – ‘Conversations with God’ – Neal Donald Walsh
Responsibility! Stop the blame game.
Many people throw the blame for their problems onto someone else – usually their partner. When we blame others we opt out of responsibility. We abdicate the possibility for change. We lose our power to make a difference….all in the name of ‘being right’. A great loss to the relationship!
What can I do to change the situation?
What did I do to contribute to this situation?
Did I not trust?
Did I fail to be clear about what I wanted?
Did I choose the wrong time?
Did I fail to stand up for what I believe is true for me?
Did I fail to ask for what I wanted?
Did I not ask enough? Appreciate enough?
Did I not do what I said I would do?
Did I procrastinate?
There is an often quoted saying, “You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free”. Facing up to truth is a choice. It is at the very core of human nature to blame others. Blame is a form of self-preservation, an escape mechanism for us. We don’t want things to be our responsibility, so we rationalise our actions and go to any extreme to blame others. However, the relationship suffers big time! In protecting ourselves, we damage the relationship.
When we appoint blame, we lose the opportunity to solve a problem. We are more responsible for our decisions than we think. ‘What goes around comes around’. When blaming, we may think we’ve got away ‘with it’. Think again! Do you really think that we have? What are the real consequences of blaming? Does it work? I expect that the answer is “No”. Here then, is an opportunity to make a real difference. Choose not to blame…….it doesn’t work!
Nothing in our relationship will change unless we begin to do something different. If you want to get something you’ve never had, you’ve got to do something you’ve never done.
Gandhi put it this way, “We must become the change we seek in the world (relationship) and that takes a decision”. It’s all in the ability to choose.
How often do we choose to be caring, honest, accepting and responsible?
These attributes don’t seem to be ‘natural’ in our society!
Maybe we get caught up in the following?
Not interested enough in others? Too busy getting self together?
– detracting from CARING / AWARENESS
Manipulating? Defensive? Not wanting to deal with consequences?
– detracting from HONESTY
Power games? I’m not good enough? Fixed on “getting it right”? Socialised black and white thinking?
– detracting from ACCEPTING
Taking the easy route? Following others? Fear of making the “wrong” decision? Blaming others?
– detracting from RESPONSIBILITY