Power of words

Are you proud of every word you say?

words to destiny“Would the people I am talking about feel special if they could hear what I was saying about them?

Will My conversations, with every person feel better or worse about themselves after they walk away from me?

Do I tell the whole truth or do I add some extra juicy or gossipy bits to make the story interesting?

Does the tone of my voice make me sound harsh, aggressive or loud?

Do I use complimentary, positive words about all the people in my life or do negative words about my family, friends, team mates or strangers appear when I am angry, tired, frustrated or feeling defensive?

Do my words compliment or criticise?

Do my words pick people up or pull people down?

Do I choose to speak highly of people or would it be better if I said nothing?

Do my words add value to or devalue the people in my life?

Would I be proud of myself if all of my conversations found their way onto the radio for everyone to hear?

Can I be proud of the person I am because of the words I use?”

Rowena Szeszeran-McEvoy

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Why men lie to women

3 Reasons why men lie to women.

Guys and lies – it often seems like the two are inextricably linked!

Men, even the good ones, seem to be unable to stick to the truth.

Whether it’s about little things that don’t even really matter, or the important issues in your relationship that depend on an honest conversation…

You know he often hides behind anything from little white lies to whoppers of epic proportions!

Here’s the truth: men lie to the women they love and they lie often.

But why can’t they simply tell the truth?

There are 3 main reasons that men lie to the women in their lives…

Understanding each of them is the key to getting your man to open up so your relationship can be built on honesty and integrity, instead of suspicion and deceit!

The First Reason Behind His Lies

Sometimes men lie to women because they don’t think you want to hear the truth.

Have you ever asked, “Do I look fat in this?”

These sorts of questions have convinced men that there are too many potential traps in responding honestly.

Rather than navigate them, it’s easier to simply tell you what they think you want to hear.

The Second Reason Behind His Lies

Sometimes men lie to women because they think if they tell you the truth, you simply won’t like them as much.

If you ask, “What are you thinking about?” you’re likely to get a very fast response like this one: “Uh…nothing, honey.”

The Third (and Biggest) Reason Behind His Lies

But the third reason men lie to women is the one that shocks women the most…

One of the biggest reasons men lie to women is because men are terrified of women and their emotions!

It might sound weird, but emotions are actually a lot harder for guys to deal with and to recover from.

According to Dr. John Gottman of the University of Washington, women can both enter and recover from extreme emotional states a lot faster and easier than guys can.

If you think about it, it makes sense.

We’ve all seen a woman burst into tears one moment, only to be totally fine a minute or two later.

But when it comes to emotions, guys are a lot more fragile.

What do you think?  Could this information be used to change behaviour and make a difference?

Researched and written by Michael Fiore.        http://itsallaboutwomen.com

Now, why do women lie to men? Leave a thought below for our own little research!

Set yourself free!

Responsibility!    Stop the blame game.

Many people throw the blame for their problems onto someone else – usually their partner. When we blame others we opt out of responsibility. We abdicate the possibility for change. We lose our power to make a difference….all in the name of ‘being right’.  A great loss to the relationship!

Ask yourself:

What can I do to change the situation?

What did I do to contribute to this situation?

Did I not trust?

Did I fail to be clear about what I wanted?

Did I choose the wrong time?

Did I fail to stand up for what I believe is true for me?

Did I fail to ask for what I wanted?

Did I not ask enough? Appreciate enough?

Did I not do what I said I would do?

Did I procrastinate?

There is an often quoted saying, “You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free”. Facing up to truth is a choice. It is at the very core of human nature to blame others. Blame is a form of self-preservation, an escape mechanism for us. We don’t want things to be our responsibility, so we rationalise our actions and go to any extreme to blame others. However, the relationship suffers big time! In protecting ourselves, we damage the relationship.

When we appoint blame, we lose the opportunity to solve a problem. We are more responsible for our decisions than we think. ‘What goes around comes around’. When blaming, we may think we’ve got away  ‘with it’. Think again! Do you really think that we have? What are the real consequences of blaming? Does it work? I expect that the answer is “No”. Here then, is an opportunity to make a real difference. Choose not to blame…….it doesn’t work!

Nothing in our relationship will change unless we begin to do something different. If you want to get something you’ve never had, you’ve got to do something you’ve never done.

Gandhi put it this way, “We must become the change we seek in the world (relationship) and that takes a decision”.  It’s all in the ability to choose.

How often do we choose to be caring, honest, accepting and responsible?

These attributes don’t seem to be ‘natural’ in our society!

Maybe we get caught up in the following?

Not interested enough in others?    Too busy getting self together?

–  detracting from CARING / AWARENESS

Manipulating?  Defensive? Not wanting to deal with consequences?

–  detracting from HONESTY

Power games?  I’m not good enough? Fixed on “getting it right”?  Socialised black and white thinking?

–  detracting from ACCEPTING

Taking the easy route? Following others? Fear of making the “wrong” decision? Blaming others?

–  detracting from RESPONSIBILITY

If you catch yourself blaming, choose to stop, and feel good about being responsible!