Things we can learn from a dog

1.   Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy ride.

2.   Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

3.   When loved ones come home, always run and greet them.

4.  When it’s in your best interest, practice obedience.

5.   Let others know when they have invaded your territory.

x laugh dance6.   Take naps and stretch before rising.

7.   Run, romp, and play daily.

8.   Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.

9.   Be loyal.

10.   Never pretend to be something you’re not.

11.   If what you want is buried, dig until you find it.

12.   Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

13.   Thrive on attention.

14.  Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

15.   On hot days, drink lots of water and sit under a shady tree.

16.   When you’re happy, dance around and wag your whole body.

17.  When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle him or her gently.

18.   No matter how often you are scolded, don’t buy the guilt thing and pout – run right back and make friends.

Anonymous

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Power of words

Are you proud of every word you say?

words to destiny“Would the people I am talking about feel special if they could hear what I was saying about them?

Will My conversations, with every person feel better or worse about themselves after they walk away from me?

Do I tell the whole truth or do I add some extra juicy or gossipy bits to make the story interesting?

Does the tone of my voice make me sound harsh, aggressive or loud?

Do I use complimentary, positive words about all the people in my life or do negative words about my family, friends, team mates or strangers appear when I am angry, tired, frustrated or feeling defensive?

Do my words compliment or criticise?

Do my words pick people up or pull people down?

Do I choose to speak highly of people or would it be better if I said nothing?

Do my words add value to or devalue the people in my life?

Would I be proud of myself if all of my conversations found their way onto the radio for everyone to hear?

Can I be proud of the person I am because of the words I use?”

Rowena Szeszeran-McEvoy

What’s your defn. of responsibility

How much is this planet in the state that we’re in because our social conditioning does not encourage the skill of making our own choices and accepting the consequences of those choices?  Do we try to control others, rather than support? How much do we as individuals take responsibility? Or do we play the very common blaming game?

Here is my favourite definition of Personal Responsibility –

Nothing and no-one is put on this earth to make my life work out.

 While things might sometimes overwhelm me, I take full responsibility for giving myself the best life I can,

regardless of the past, or what may happen in the future.

Furthermore, I have the ability to make choices about how I respond to situations even if I can’t change the situations themselves.

I refuse to see myself as a victim, even though I may at times be victimised.

I am totally responsible for my life.

I am not responsible for other people’s lives.

The diagram below on the left is a general reflection of past social conditioning. The right diagram is where we are moving toward. See the ‘benefit’ in living on the left! And the benefit of living on the right. It’s our choice.

In this day and age, we are evolving towards a self controlled, rather than an other controlled, society.  Our young are going to need this sense of responsibility if we are to become solution focussed rather than competitive and blaming.

“If you take responsibility for yourself you will develop a hunger to accomplish your dreams.”
—Les Brown

QUOTE: The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own.  No apologies or excuses.  No one to lean on, rely on, or blame.  The gift is yours – it is an amazing journey – and you alone are responsible for the quality of it.  This is the day your life really begins.  ~Bob Moawad

I hope you find this interesting and thought provoking – I believe that responsibility is one of humanity’s learning in this Golden Age.

Peace, love and blessings, Lexia

Pain relief….doesn’t relieve pain

Your average Aussie is in pain.

What kind?

Emotional pain.

When we don’t have enough time, money, influence, peace, health, success, intimacy, happiness, appreciation, gratitude or whatever it is we are chasing – we notice that it’s missing and feel emotional pain.

That causes us to buy pain relief, which of course, comes in many flavours. It might be car themed, travel based, workaholic-ed, shopaholic, eataholic or any one of a thousand versions. One thing this pain relief will never do is relieve the pain, it only suppresses it for awhile.

Another method of pain relief is to actually allow ourselves to feel the pain.  I mean really feel it in the body.  Consciously bring attention to the feeling. Where is it?  What does it look like? What colour, texture, shape, sound etc. Recognise it, feel it and accept it!  As Paul would say, “The healing is in the expression of the feeling”. This has a reprogramming effect on the subconscious. The emotions stuffed down in the subconscious get validated ….consequently, with being heard, they can let go their controlling grip on our behaviour. When in pain, we need to be heard. Hear you subconscious pain, give it a voice, feel it and validate.

Give this reprogramming a go next time you are reaching for pain relief that your conscious mind knows is no good for you.

emotions with autumn

Set yourself free!

Responsibility!    Stop the blame game.

Many people throw the blame for their problems onto someone else – usually their partner. When we blame others we opt out of responsibility. We abdicate the possibility for change. We lose our power to make a difference….all in the name of ‘being right’.  A great loss to the relationship!

Ask yourself:

What can I do to change the situation?

What did I do to contribute to this situation?

Did I not trust?

Did I fail to be clear about what I wanted?

Did I choose the wrong time?

Did I fail to stand up for what I believe is true for me?

Did I fail to ask for what I wanted?

Did I not ask enough? Appreciate enough?

Did I not do what I said I would do?

Did I procrastinate?

There is an often quoted saying, “You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free”. Facing up to truth is a choice. It is at the very core of human nature to blame others. Blame is a form of self-preservation, an escape mechanism for us. We don’t want things to be our responsibility, so we rationalise our actions and go to any extreme to blame others. However, the relationship suffers big time! In protecting ourselves, we damage the relationship.

When we appoint blame, we lose the opportunity to solve a problem. We are more responsible for our decisions than we think. ‘What goes around comes around’. When blaming, we may think we’ve got away  ‘with it’. Think again! Do you really think that we have? What are the real consequences of blaming? Does it work? I expect that the answer is “No”. Here then, is an opportunity to make a real difference. Choose not to blame…….it doesn’t work!

Nothing in our relationship will change unless we begin to do something different. If you want to get something you’ve never had, you’ve got to do something you’ve never done.

Gandhi put it this way, “We must become the change we seek in the world (relationship) and that takes a decision”.  It’s all in the ability to choose.

How often do we choose to be caring, honest, accepting and responsible?

These attributes don’t seem to be ‘natural’ in our society!

Maybe we get caught up in the following?

Not interested enough in others?    Too busy getting self together?

–  detracting from CARING / AWARENESS

Manipulating?  Defensive? Not wanting to deal with consequences?

–  detracting from HONESTY

Power games?  I’m not good enough? Fixed on “getting it right”?  Socialised black and white thinking?

–  detracting from ACCEPTING

Taking the easy route? Following others? Fear of making the “wrong” decision? Blaming others?

–  detracting from RESPONSIBILITY

If you catch yourself blaming, choose to stop, and feel good about being responsible!

Walk down another street

Think of the possibility of changing your response.

What we need to learn is how to not be impacted negatively by the goings on around us. Especially when we consider that many stress inducing events and individuals are likely to increase.

Wanting to reach your goals is likely to be a stress increasing activity – not the reverse.

A holiday is likely to be a stress inducing situation.

Therefore we must learn to change our response – not remove the negatives.

Stress is an individual response (decision) made about something. Mostly we stress when we “make” something wrong. If we stay neutral and just observe for a while we can choose a response instead of uncontrollably reacting.

Try going another way to the way you usually go. Choose a different response.

Which way?

Any direction other than your normal one would be great.

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

I.

I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I fall in. I am lost…..I am helpless. It isn’t my fault.

It takes forever to find a way out.

 

II

I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend I don’t see it. I fall in again. I can’t believe I am in the same place. But it isn’t my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.

 

III

I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in…it’s a habit….but, my eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately

 

IV

I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.  I walk around it.

 

V

I walk down another street.

                                                                      -anonymous

Responsibility vs Blame

What does Responsibility mean to you?

To me, it used to have connotations of obligation, accountability, ownership, and being loaded with a generous pinch of judgment and self-blame or liability. It conjures up images of my childhood,   “You need to be responsible”.   It was good to learn that it’s about choosing our actions and with them come their consequences.  To not blame others and therefore to have much more control over my live,  even if I didn’t want to own that responsibility all the time! It’s much easier to blame. Now I realise that blaming makes me a victim to circumstances rather than feeling in control of my own life.

“You take responsibility for your life and a ‘terrible’ thing happens… no one to blame!”

Responsibility is your ‘ability to respond”.  WOW!  That’s a pretty cool way of looking at it!  So by taking responsibility, you are acknowledging your ability to respond.  You are not a passive recipient in the world but an active entity!   I loved the freedom and power that came with seeing it in this new light: responsibility: your “response ability” or “ability to respond”.

So how does it apply to real life?

Embracing that we have control over what happens next.  We  take control of the situation and put the ball back in our court.  By taking responsibility for our health,  life,  actions, we take back our power and become free to respond and move forward in any way we choose.   By not taking responsibility or holding others responsible, we give our power away, we are effectively saying I have no control over that, which leaves us powerless to change and grow or influence others and circumstances.

It would appear that taking responsibility takes us to a point for maximum growth.

Here’s to stepping into our own power!