How to feel good…!

“Welcome the energy formerly known as disruption!”

“Invite the sensation you used to call discomfort.”

Or better yet, “Welcome rearrangement! Invite transition!”

And be ready to enjoy life more fully than ever before!

happyBhagavan would say to FEEL. To feel is to see. Freedom is in the seeing.

The ancient shamans have a secret practice that can help maximize  pleasure in life—and minimize  pain. Interested?

The shamans advise: “Welcome discomfort!”

They’ve got to be kidding!

No, they’re not kidding. The ancient ones are quite serious. Or shall I use another word other than serious? Because the effectiveness of “Welcoming discomfort!” depends on NOT taking the discomfort seriously!

Life in the 3rd Dimension

Here on Earth in the 3rd dimension, we’re engaged in a dance of duality, a ballet of opposites, a play of polarity. For every quality in our world, there exists an equal and opposite quality. Light and dark. Up and down. Forward and backward.

To create form out of pure formless energy, we construct this 3-dimensional world by believing in duality. Otherwise, we’d only be able to experience a world of oneness, sameness—pure energy, essence, spirit. And in order to experience any one quality in form, the reverse quality has to also be created in form. For one quality to exist—to come into existence, to be in existence—the opposite of that quality has to also exist.

So Where Does the Fun Come In?

happinessThe key to moving through life in our everyday world as easily, gracefully and pleasurably as possible is to be able to fully experience both sides of all qualities easily, gracefully and pleasurably. In other words, the shaman secret is an approach that keeps us from getting stuck in feeling the “undesirable” aspects of life any longer than necessary.

The shamans offer a practice that allows us to fully experience problems, loss, fear, anger, sadness or pain as efficiently as possible. If we approach the unpreferred qualities in life in a way that makes them easier to fully experience, we can move through them as fast as possible. And spend more of our time with the goodies in life.

Shortcut to Happiness

I know of no one who has been able to avoid the unpleasant events and feelings of life. So if we can’t have a universe without so-called “nasty” situations and emotions, we can at least learn how to deal with those conditions in the most effective and pleasurable way!

The Shaman Secret

The shaman way is to “welcome the discomfort” in life. Invite the uncomfortable, undesirable, unpreferred qualities of life. The solution is to make these qualities as attractive and agreeable as possible—so that we can actually welcome, invite and, therefore, fully experience each quality.

When a person chooses to fully experience a quality, event or feeling, the quality goes full circle, full cycle—and dissolves, disappears. When you give the energy of a situation or feeling the space—the acceptance—to fully express itself, the uncomfortable feeling is complete, done, fulfilled. You’re free of it. It’s over, gone, kaput. You can move on to focus on the more fun aspects of life!

How Do I Welcome Pain?

Good question! By choosing to not approach the situation or feeling as “pain.” Frame the condition with a “feel-able” label—that is, a label you’re more willing to experience. Choose a generic, neutral, uncharged label.

For example, name your “fear” “sensation”, “energy” or “vibration.” You might even be able to experience the “energy formerly known as fear” as “rush” , “adrenaline” or “intensity.”

Or call your “problem” or “crisis” a “challenge” or “situation” or even an “adventure!” Who wants to deal with a problem or crisis? Too heavy. Too serious. Too overwhelming. Too much!
Or that person you avoid because he or she is so “difficult.” Would it be more fun if you invited the “adventure” of intuitively dealing with this “challenging” person?

Fear is Excitement?

Yes! The actual energy we feel in our bodies that we usually call “fear” is the exactly the same energy as we call “excitement!” What creates the difference in our experience of the feeling is our attitude toward the feeling, our approach to the emotion, the way we hold that quality in our consciousness.

When we change the way we label or name “uncomfortable” states, the more approachable the condition is for us to feel, the easier it is for us to experience it—and therefore, the faster we move through the state to another condition that is more enjoyable.

So, if we approach undesirable states like crisis, loss, grief or anger with labels that are more easily feel-able—like situation, sensation, energy, vibration—we will be more willing and able to fully experience those states and move through them more quickly and gracefully.

When we don’t define or name the situations or feelings with a “negative” label, we don’t resist experiencing them fully.

Ride the Realization

You can also use the realization that “Oh, this is the way I set up my life. I create problems, loss, poverty, sadness and pain so that I am able to experience solutions, gain, abundance, joy, and pleasure. I’m willing to approach these states as ‘experiences’ or ‘sensations’ in order to move through them as quickly as possible to get to the other side.” On the other side of fully experiencing any aspect of life is always greater intuition and clarity—which, in turn, leads immediately to more peace and happiness.

What Are You Waiting For?

“Welcome the energy formerly known as disruption!” “Invite the sensation you used to call discomfort.” Or better yet, “Welcome rearrangement! Invite transition!”


Imagine not worrying about what others think

Imagine how different the world would be if we could all push to do the things we want to do, be the people we want to be and live how we want to live.   ~Sophie 


worry not1. Stop Over-thinking

You are not the most important person in the world, at least not to others. It is probably in the majority of occasions that you think you are being judged where people don’t actually care for the thing you are worrying about. Do you judge every single person that you meet, probably not.  If you do, you might want to sort out that side of your life first as there’s no wonder you care what people think of you.

 2. Put things into perspective

To people that aren’t naturally concerned what others think about them, having an issue with it seems quite strange or even silly. The reason is that when you put ‘issues’ like this under the microscope you can see they are really not worth having. You only get ONE chance at life in the physical world and you are going to allow other people’s thoughts make it less enjoyable?

3. Be confident in your actions

Seeing as it’s likely we’ll always have some thought towards the feelings of others, what if we could really eliminate the amount of times it happens? Well, you can. The trick, if you want to call it that, is to simply be more confident in the decisions and actions you are taking.

Have you never seen someone that might be wearing something out of the ordinary or acting different to the surrounding crowd but things just seem normal and they aren’t being judged?

If you are wearing yellow shoes and are clearly uncomfortable in your choice then people are going to target you because they can see that and they probably want to feel good about themselves. However, if you can wear the shoes with pride and confidence, whilst clearly not caring what other people think then you’ll notice the negative reactions to be very small if any.

4. Learn to control your emotions

When you start to try things like pushing your limits or simply being more confident, you will undoubtedly have mixed emotions in your head. From stress, worry and fear, to relief and happiness, it can be a bit of a mind roller coaster; that is where controlling your emotions comes in.

The simple practice I learned from Eckhart Tolle goes a bit like this:

  • Be conscious of an emotion inside you i.e. fear or worry
  • Observe it within your mind
  • Notice that if you are observing it, it can’t be a part of you
  • Watch the emotion disappear

As soon as you observe an emotionyou are separating yourself from it. Feel it, accept it, and it will release.

Fear is worry magnified

Worry is just about the worst form of mental activity there is-next to hate, which is deeply self-destructive.  Worry is pointless.  It is wasted mental energy.  It also creates bio-chemical reactions, which harm the body, producing everything from indigestion to coronary arrest, and a multitude of things in between.  Health will improve almost at once when worrying takes a back seat.


Fear is worry magnified.  Worry, hate, fear-together with their off shoots: anxiety, bitterness, impatience, unkindness, being judgmental, and condemnation-all attack the body at the cellular level.  It is impossible to have a healthy body under these conditions.


 What you most fear is what will most plague you.  Fear will draw it to you like a magnet.  Thought is creative.  Fear attracts like energy.  Emotion is the power, which attracts.  That which you fear strongly, you will experience.  Invite yourself to move past that.  Try a new response.  Try laughter.

You see, suffering has nothing to do with events, but with one’s reaction to them.  What’s happening is merely what’s happening.  How you feel about it is another matter.

Embarrassment is the response of a person who still has an ego investment in how others see him/her…. Neal Donald Walsh


Pain relief….doesn’t relieve pain

Your average Aussie is in pain.

What kind?

Emotional pain.

When we don’t have enough time, money, influence, peace, health, success, intimacy, happiness, appreciation, gratitude or whatever it is we are chasing – we notice that it’s missing and feel emotional pain.

That causes us to buy pain relief, which of course, comes in many flavours. It might be car themed, travel based, workaholic-ed, shopaholic, eataholic or any one of a thousand versions. One thing this pain relief will never do is relieve the pain, it only suppresses it for awhile.

Another method of pain relief is to actually allow ourselves to feel the pain.  I mean really feel it in the body.  Consciously bring attention to the feeling. Where is it?  What does it look like? What colour, texture, shape, sound etc. Recognise it, feel it and accept it!  As Paul would say, “The healing is in the expression of the feeling”. This has a reprogramming effect on the subconscious. The emotions stuffed down in the subconscious get validated ….consequently, with being heard, they can let go their controlling grip on our behaviour. When in pain, we need to be heard. Hear you subconscious pain, give it a voice, feel it and validate.

Give this reprogramming a go next time you are reaching for pain relief that your conscious mind knows is no good for you.

emotions with autumn

Face your fears

Experiences repeat themselves until they are learned.  –John Gray


Some people seem to experience recurring problems in relationships. It doesn’t matter how many times they change partners, jobs, or friends, the same issues arise again and again.  For other people money is a problem.  They may have the tendency to overspend and run up debts, then they reorganise their finances vowing this will never happen again and before long they are back where they started, or in a worse position.

Recurring patterns are your signposts, and your opportunities, although they never feel like it at the time.  If you have any type of recurring problem you have an opportunity to face your fears, by doing so you free yourself from having to experience the same situations over and over again.

It’s tempting at these times to look at what’s causing the problem externally, in other words to blame someone, or something else.  This could be the Government, your employer, the economy, or another person.  If you’re not blaming someone else you might be blaming yourself.

It doesn’t matter whether you are right or wrong, the fact is that acting in this way won’t change the situation nor will it help you create a life you love.

When you acknowledge that you have control over your life and you stop blaming other people for the situation you’re in, then you are ready to face your fears.  When you do this you will find that you have one of three opportunities, sometimes you have all three rolled into one.


Opportunity one:  Every problem presents you with an opportunity to demonstrate who you want to be: this demonstration allows you to change a limiting belief.



Opportunity Two:  You are able to realise what emotional benefit you are gaining — the pay-off – from having your problems.

Some examples of pay-offs:

You get attention  —  eg always having a problem to talk about.

You take revenge  —  eg a teenager working below abilities or not working, could be taking revenge against a controlling parent.

Opportunity Three:  You can face some unresolved emotions that need to be dealt with.

Source;  “Love The Life You Live” – Anne Hartly

You need to allow yourself to feel, most of us were conditioned not to show anger or fear.

John Gray describes how some emotions support you in remaining ‘stuck’, while other emotions allow you to heal.

Emotions that keep you                      Emotions that allow you

bonded to your pain                            to heal

Blame, hate, resentment                           anger

Anxiety, self pity                                         fear

Guilt, doubt                                                 sadness

Depression, hopelessness,                         sorrow

“Every event in life can be causing only one of two things. Either it is good for you, or it is bringing up what you need to look at in order to create good for you.” – Deepak Chopra

Have a look at this movie “No glass ceiling” –


Shame, a useless, yet common emotion

Shame.  Don’t be fooled.  We can walk around laden with shame and hardly anyone will be the wiser.  Maybe we don’t even know what that nagging feeling inside of us is.  All we know is that it gets in the way of feeling comfortable, of sex, of being able to work, and of feeling that we can at least tolerate ourselves and our lives.  Who admits to shame?  No one I know.

But what if most of us suffer from it and no one wants to talk about it?  Too ashamed to talk about shame?

Here are some examples to get the ball rolling….

I’m ashamed of my body.

I’m ashamed of my stupidity.

I’m ashamed of my past and what they did to me.

I’m ashamed of my past and what I did to them.

I’m ashamed that I’m not like the others and have to fake it to get along in the world.

I’m ashamed of my drinking, smoking, screaming, belittling, rages, self-pity, laziness, incompetence.

I’m ashamed of how I spend money.

I’m ashamed that I’m not social enough.

I’m ashamed that I don’t have enough friends.

I’m ashamed of my lack of education.

I’m ashamed of my gender, nationality, race, hair color, hair texture, eye color, height, weight, body fat, appetite, eating habits, shopping habits.

I’m ashamed of my living situation, of my love life, of my teeth, of how I let others talk to me.


The thing about shame is that, once it’s taken hold real good, it’s self-imposed.  Get called “stupid” or “worthless” or “pathetic” enough in one way or another, and something clicks.  Something starts to take hold.  You start to believe it.  Then you start to believe it in the core of your being.  It begins to permeate throughout your existence, leaving you with a primary, primordial purpose in life of HIDING it.

To conquer and cleanse all that does not belong to us.  To rid ourselves of self-blaming, self-condemnation… all those voices in our heads that should not be there.

Remorse says, “I’m sorry for what I did.” Therefore, remorse is useful.

Shame, on the  other hand, says, “I’m sorry for who I am.”

Source –

 Those negative thoughts can be changed.  We can choose to think different thoughts, more realistic thoughts.

When you hear your subconscious digging up some old stories, consciously choose to be in the present moment and respond with acceptance of self.

Having a “good” fight


3 tips to having a “GOOD” fight…



The simple truth is that we are all going to end up having fights and  arguments throughout our lives.

To think otherwise would be self-delusional!

For me, it makes more sense  to be prepared for it rather than to pretend it’s never going to happen.

I don’t mean that you should always anticipating a fight and be thinking about your tactics. That would be attracting it into your life, and that’s not a good thing.

What I do mean is, having a strategy so that you can reduce or eliminate the negative emotions that often result from the fight.

Here’s three tips that will help you do that:

1. Respect the other persons opinion.

Keep in mind that the other person’s opinion is very very important to them. It’s not something that they are going to give up just because you disagree with it.

By  doing this it will help you to remain less emotional and more rational. And that’s a big key to eliminating the negative emotions that come from fighting.

2. The other person is always right!

If you can take that position from the onset of any disagreement, then you’ll be able to understand why they have a different opinion to you.

Put yourself in their shoes for just a few minutes and really try and learn why they think that way.

You don’t have to agree with them, but trying to understand why they think that way will keep the emotions a lot lower.

A word of caution here – Don’t just listen to them and then tell them why they are wrong, truly try to understand why they might be right.

It will create an enormous amount of respect from them, for you. And that’s going to help a lot when you put your thoughts forward.

3. Don’t accept abusive or disrespectful language.

This goes both ways, you shouldn’t use it and you shouldn’t accept it from them.

If you feel you are getting too emotional, then let the other person know and ask them if it’s ok to finish the conversation a little later.

That gives you time to calm down and think rationally about the argument.

If they get abusive or disrespectful, explain to them that the agreement is too emotional and you’d like to continue it when they have calmed down.

VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: These tips are for dealing with most normal arguments. If you are in a physically abusive situation, then seek professional help  right now, before any more arguments take place.

There is really no excuse for verbal abuse, and certainly there isn’t any excuse for physical abuse.