Shame, a useless, yet common emotion

Shame.  Don’t be fooled.  We can walk around laden with shame and hardly anyone will be the wiser.  Maybe we don’t even know what that nagging feeling inside of us is.  All we know is that it gets in the way of feeling comfortable, of sex, of being able to work, and of feeling that we can at least tolerate ourselves and our lives.  Who admits to shame?  No one I know.

But what if most of us suffer from it and no one wants to talk about it?  Too ashamed to talk about shame?

Here are some examples to get the ball rolling….

I’m ashamed of my body.

I’m ashamed of my stupidity.

I’m ashamed of my past and what they did to me.

I’m ashamed of my past and what I did to them.

I’m ashamed that I’m not like the others and have to fake it to get along in the world.

I’m ashamed of my drinking, smoking, screaming, belittling, rages, self-pity, laziness, incompetence.

I’m ashamed of how I spend money.

I’m ashamed that I’m not social enough.

I’m ashamed that I don’t have enough friends.

I’m ashamed of my lack of education.

I’m ashamed of my gender, nationality, race, hair color, hair texture, eye color, height, weight, body fat, appetite, eating habits, shopping habits.

I’m ashamed of my living situation, of my love life, of my teeth, of how I let others talk to me.

__________________________________________________________

The thing about shame is that, once it’s taken hold real good, it’s self-imposed.  Get called “stupid” or “worthless” or “pathetic” enough in one way or another, and something clicks.  Something starts to take hold.  You start to believe it.  Then you start to believe it in the core of your being.  It begins to permeate throughout your existence, leaving you with a primary, primordial purpose in life of HIDING it.

To conquer and cleanse all that does not belong to us.  To rid ourselves of self-blaming, self-condemnation… all those voices in our heads that should not be there.

Remorse says, “I’m sorry for what I did.” Therefore, remorse is useful.

Shame, on the  other hand, says, “I’m sorry for who I am.”

Source – http://mybodymyself.wordpress.com

 Those negative thoughts can be changed.  We can choose to think different thoughts, more realistic thoughts.

When you hear your subconscious digging up some old stories, consciously choose to be in the present moment and respond with acceptance of self.

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