Saying “No”

For some people saying ‘no’ is really difficult. They find it more daunting than looking after kids, running a business or even climbing a mountain. How often have you found your head screaming ‘no’ and your mouth articulating ‘yes’?  Then you are angry with yourself afterwards.

Saying ‘no’ when you actually mean ‘no’ will not only boost your confidence, it sends a message to those around you that your time and energy is just as valuable as theirs and is to be respected.

Reasons why some people find it hard to say the ‘no’ word:

  • They do not want to feel guilty
  • They are fearful of what the other person will think or feel
  • They have been conditioned to think saying no is cynical or negative
  • They worry they will miss out on future opportunities

Three ways to master the art of saying ‘No’

Buy yourself some time – 

Rather than simply blurt out ‘yes’ request time to think about it, may be even sleep on it overnight. This will indicate upfront that you may not be able to make that commitment.

Be Honest with Yourself – 

Take the time to ask yourself on a scale of 1-10 how much do I really want to do this? If you find it is less than five then consider saying ‘no’.  It may feel uncomfortable, but it will save you the feeling of deep resentment later when you find yourself doing something you don’t want to do.

Realise it is okay to say ‘no’ – 

It is important to value yourself, your own needs and desires. Saying ‘no’ may cause anger to others initially, but it soon turns to respect.



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