Busting procrastination

I often get the question…….Why can’t I do what I want to do? 

How can I stop procrastinating?

procrastination = distractions (+ excuses)

Answer these questions;         What are the distractions?         Why the excuses?

Also;         Is there a lack of motivation?         Does your task fit with your values and desires?

Are you a Passive procrastinator  –  relaxed and enjoying life?

or an Active procrastinator  –  protecting yourself.     Fear of ……………………..

The Procrastination Process

Procrastination is a strange phenomenon.  Its purpose seems to be to make our life more pleasant, but instead it almost always adds stress, disorganisation and frequently failure.

Just some of the myriad of reasons we might procrastinate include:

Perfectionism.

Evaluation Anxiety

Fear of the Unknown

Fear of Failure.

Inability to Handle the Task

Feeling Overwhelmed

Fear and Anxiety

Negative Beliefs about Yourself. 

What to Do about Procrastination

If we are able to admit that our procrastination is not the basic “problem” but rather an attempted “cure” for fears, self-doubts, and dislike of work, we are able to uncover the real problems – underlying fears, attitudes and irrational ideas. We can then deal with the real “problem” and make responsible choices.

Asking yourself, “Am I a relaxed or a tense procrastinator?”

Mark Twain once observed, “twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by things that you didn’t do than by the things that you did do”. When we procrastinate, we create much of our own misery in the first place by telling ourselves the task is really awful (“I hate all this reading”) or by putting ourselves down (“I’ll do a terrible job”) or by telling ourselves something is very unfair (“This task is ridiculous, I can’t stand my boss”) or by setting impossible goals (“I’ve got to get all A’s”). Then we procrastinate to avoid our own self-created emotional dislike of the job at hand.

It’s important now to start stacking your successes

by keeping your word to yourself.

 

DO what you say you will, and your subconscious mind

will become less of a saboteur and more on your side.

We finally did it – ordered our ‘relationship accelerator’ from Germany

related post – Are You Procrastinating or Just Disinterested?

The Gap

The bigger the gap between the addictive urge and the action,

the greater the degree of Emotional Intelligence

and therefore the greater success.

Having difficulty with impulsive …………………. ? (you name it!)

Here’s an idea from Paul Blackburn’s book “Resolving the Mindset Riddle”

Put a gap between the impulse and the action!  The greater the gap/time, the more powerful.

Take a breath and consider;

• How?
• When?
• Do I really need this?
• Is it true that I need this?
• Should I?
• Is it important?
• What are the benefits?
• What is the down side?

After applying the gap, make a choice of action for the highest good..

How many circumstances can you put the gap into your life?

A  sculpture in Broken Hill where I lived for 20 wonderful years, Lexia

Addicted to a Behaviour?

What if giving into temptation was just part of normal, daily?

And what if it wasn’t just food and drink but prescription drugs, sex, gambling, shopping, the Internet, and relationships that called one to compulsive, out-of-control behaviour, resulting in negative lifestyle consequences?

There is evidence that addiction to compulsive behaviour involves similar brain mechanisms to those that operate in drug and alcohol addiction. The ‘dopamine reward pathway’ is an instance in which a feel-good neurotransmitter is released during pleasurable behaviour. It leads to the likelihood of the behaviour being repeated, and eventually becoming a habit.

What to do?

Use these questions to identify risk of becoming addicted to a certain behaviour:

• Has your job performance suffered due to your behaviour?
• Do you feel out of control?
• Did you ever engage in it longer than you had planned?
• Have you ever engaged in it to escape worry or stress?
• Has it caused you to have difficulty sleeping?
• Do you spend less time with family or friends because of it?
• Has it caused difficulty in relationships?
• Do you get upset at yourself for engaging in it?
• Do you feel guilty or ashamed about it?

(Five or more ‘yes’ answers may mean the person has an addiction to a specific behaviour.)

Tips for change:

• List all the good things about the behaviour. Then list all the less good things about it. What do you notice about the two lists? How do you feel about what you notice? What actions can you take to promote change?
• Think about the last time it occurred. What happened just before? Does a specific emotion/thought make you want to engage in it more than other thoughts/emotions do? What alternative behaviours would serve you better when you have these thoughts/emotions?
• What are the usual consequences this kind of behaviour? Do you feel relief or embarrassment? How did others react?  What happened afterwards?  Thinking ahead to the probable consequences may lessen the urge.
• ‘Surf the urge’ – remember that they come and go. Urges gradually decrease over time if not given in to.
• Be aware of not setting yourself up for a high-risk situation. For example, buy only one bottle of your favourite wine to keep in the house or leave the credit card at home when you go shopping.

 (this article is based on information from ‘Mindfood’ Dec 2010)

Art work by Jennifer Bedford, go to -  www.theblissfulbrush.com